Exclusivity in a new relationship can be a scary topic to breach for a variety of reasons. However, the possibility of amazing outcomes way outweighs the possibility of bad. There are no rules. All of those dating rules that tell you what to do and when are totally made up. Your feelings are valid. Your feelings are always valid and okay. Your feelings are worth exploring and listening to if it feels right. Your head may tell you that the person will run away if you try to talk about commitment. No matter what your head tries to tell you, you deserve it.
Why Is There So Much Confusion Around Being Exclusive?
You date around until you meet someone you like. Then you naturally stop dating others and focus on your new sweetie. Maybe it just feels so right that you both agree to become exclusive with one another after a few dates. Or, you start to see red flags. That charming guy begins to show signs of a workaholic.
By: Mary Elizabeth Dean. Being in a new relationship can entail confusion for many women. Navigating first dates and new conversations with someone you don’t know very well can be stressful. When dating, you may date more than one person, as long as you haven’t mutually agreed to be exclusive. This can bring about a whole new wave of confusion and add another layer to the feeling of stress felt while dating.
If you are searching for signs that he wants to date you exclusively, chances are he isn’t coming out and saying it. Nonverbal cues such as body language could be a great indicator to get you the answers you seek. The first thing you can look out for is eye contact. Is he intently paying attention to you when you speak or while he is speaking to you? Studies have shown that people who engage in constant eye contact during social interaction have an interest in the person they are talking to.
If you have a sneaking suspicion that he wants to be exclusive with you, and his eyes are set on you, you might be able to assume you are correct! The position of his feet could also tell a story.
How Long Should You Wait To Define The Relationship? Here’s What The Pros Have To Say
I recently met a great man. We met two weeks ago. I am very happy and he said that he is happy when he is with me and like him the more I get to know him. Our chemistry was immediate physical, intellectual, and emotional and things have been very easy so far. That said, things have been moving quickly. I am totally comfortable with the speed how often we are communicating, seeing each other, and sharing information about ourselves.
You may not have had an exclusive dating talk yet, but he’s being so attentive. And, you’re busy with work and other commitments, so you rationalize you don’t.
But what does exclusive mean? Being exclusive is a term used to describe when a couple decides to only ever date each other. Boyfriend and girlfriend. Becoming exclusive is declaring your commitment for someone. Your intentions are pure. Those who have commitment issues find this word to be super scary. To them, becoming exclusive might be a much bigger deal than it is for you.
Because you might be ready way before they are.
What Does Exclusive Mean to a Guy?
You might even have vague plans scheduled in the future — like attending a concert or going to a special event together. Still, you remain in dating limbo. If you have sex after the third date, a man is just still thinking that you’re enjoying getting to know each other, that you’re having sex and fun and that you’re just dating.
Relationships can be scary places. Did that make any sense? So you keep going along for the ride, but the question eats away at you. Exclusivity carries a different level of significance for everyone. So you want to know where your relationship stands … where does anyone go when they want to know stuff? Google of course. So you type in the question and you get a checklist of signs that claim you are definitely in an exclusive relationship. I definitely know this firsthand because I dated a guy who checked yes to all of these and more, and yet he still refused to call me his official girlfriend.
The moral here is that checklists mean absolutely nothing. Ready to have your mind blown?
What Exclusive Dating Really Means, Versus Being in a Relationship
So here are some tips for making the exclusive talk a little easier and a lot less scary and sweaty. Sometimes we start important talks with an attitude of discovery. Make a mental list of what you want from the relationship and what you need to find out to feel comfortable. Every relationship is different and evolves at a different pace. This is not going to please your friends who are worried about you and want to protect you from broken hearts and STIs.
If we want to be exclusive with one person, we have to talk to them, and find out if they feel the same. Do they feel the same way? However, if you catch yourself doing or feeling any of the following, it might be time to define the relationship. For some people, reaching this point only take a few weeks. For others, it might take months. Talking about becoming exclusive can take a long time, so give yourself as much time as you need to iron everything out.
Give them time to think about it and fully express how they want to proceed. Things can get misunderstood over text, with simple sentences taking on sinister or uncertain tones that could easily be clarified if you had taken the time to speak in person. This also helps set a precedent for future talks about your relationship. This should be pretty self-explanatory. If you want to be exclusive, you should tell them.
If you do decide to become exclusive, learn how to have a healthy relationship. Read more about the different stages of relationships.
Here’s how to know if it’s time to be exclusive with your partner
If you’re reading this, you’re probably confused about the status of your relationship. Are we just dating or are we in an exclusive relationship? We totally get it. So we asked Audrey Hope , celebrity renowned relationship therapist, for help in distinguishing the difference between dating and being in a relationship. But first things first: regardless of where you’re at in your relationship, Hope says it’s important to be ready and know what you want.
Be confident in your decision!
Is there a certain number of dates needed before making your relationship official? or desperate to want to be official and exclusive with someone after relationship talk is something that wouldn’t catch him or her off guard.
It can be a trap. While women tend to date looking for commitment and relationships, men often date for fun, companionship and attention. Finding a life partner may not be the first priority. When you agree to exclusivity you remove all of his competition. He can kick back and rest easy. He has you locked down and your options closed. The chase is over and he can settle into a safe routine.